Adventures of Milton and His Boy Wonder Bucky by William
“Folks, welcome destination station, adventure central, and the space quest of a lifetime!” The narrator exclaims dramatically. “These are the adventures of Milton the greatest automaton to ever grace our galaxy, the savior of many planets far and wide, and the metal man of the year! In this week’s adventure Milton faces his mechanized brethren in I Think: Therefore I Am!”
Milton was flying around in the Milky Way Galaxy admiring his work. Earth was filled to the brim with robotic automatons, but none of them were sentient like he was. His creator gave him one task and one task only: to become better than humanity through cosmic community service. With this goal he left the green Eden that was Earth and began his year long quest to travel among the stars and save those who could not help themselves. And so he began his quest by saving the human colonist trapped on Remulac IV, that one was a dosey with the giant fire ants but a simple sugary treat directed away from the Human colony was enough to distract them during the colony evacuation. His next stop the vacation retreat of Ceylon XII was a blast. As he was forced to stop and evil alien colony who wished to use human hair as a power source. While it was quite a minor adventure that had angered fans who had bought this issue at normal price those that bought it resell were impressed with what chills and thrills that adventure had offered. Nothing however could compare to the amount hours he to spend fighting the giant lizard monsters of Tokoyo VII, after that battle he had to have his metal armor built to withstand nuclear blasts as his old body could not handle the fire breath of these atomic creatures.
Yes, he had gained much notoriety among the human race and with it admiration that a robot could do well and not try and subjugate the human. On one of his adventures he had gained a human sidekick Bucky who helped with his repairs and communication throughout their adventures through the cosmos they had become great friends. As he and Bucky approached Earth, Bucky alerted Milton.
“Hey Milton, something strange is going on.” said Bucky through the radio. “I’m hailing Earth to get confirmation to land but, they’re not responding.”
“Oh Bucky my good lad, do not worry!” exclaimed Milton. “The citizens of Earth know of me and my mission. I am but, a humble robot and they wish to treat me as such.”
“I understand Milton but your logic processors should tell you that humans like to leave the door mat on the porch when welcoming visitors.” Responded Bucky.
“Really Bucky, would you leave your doormat on the porch if an alien objects were coming into your airspace?” questioned Milton, “You did learn about the Martian invasion in holo-school didn’t you?”
“Yes but back then humans thought that other life-forms might wish to share their knowledge from the stars,” said Bucky.
“Well, they learned when half the planet was left inn ruin in the aftermath,” scolded Milton.
“Don’t worry Bucky and my logic processors are working fine,” interrupted Milton. “I am well known and my model number and position are constantly being beamed to all space and ground stations within my landing vector. They just need time to respond. If they do not we shall turn back and try at a later time.”
“Yes, but my human instinct tells me their trouble brewing planet side,” said Bucky with a hint of fear in his voice. “The leader of Earth wished to personally thank you for serving the interstellar community.” Bucky said. “And by the look on his face in the holo-invitation he obviously wanted to meet you personally.”
Just at that moment Milton’s radar sensors went haywire. Milton could sense missiles from silos all over the planet on his radar. He calculated in his robotic mind the trajectory of the missiles and with a 00.1% margin of error he could tell that the missiles were going hit him and Bucky. Milton calculated their chances of survival and weighed the odds. If he and Bucky were to dodge the missiles it would be a 30% percent chance that both of them would survive. If he told Bucky to retreat his odds were 100%.
“Bucky to Milton, come in,” radioed Milton, “If we are going to survive this I have to go in alone. My armor can with stand enough of the blasts to make it to the planet. You however cannot.”
“But, Milton how will you be able to find repairs when you make it down there?” asked Bucky worried for his robot friend.
“My creator can do it, it hasn’t been that long, and anyway your human body could not be rebuilt if it broke apart upon re-entry.”
“Okay Milton, but as soon as I can I’ll be back with help from some of the colonies. At least they know how to treat a house guest.” And with that Bucky turned his ship around while Milton prepared to take the missiles head on. His optical lasers geared up and began to shoot each missile one by one. A few of them got by but his armor was able to absorb the blasts. One of the stray missiles hit one of his rocket powered boots and within an instance errors began to buzz around in his head locking most of his systems up. With his control gone and most of his systems shutting down he looked down at Earth and tried to lock on to New Nashville, where his creator had lived when he had been still been on Earth, and using his surviving rocket boot he tried to change his course to land somewhere near where his creator had lived. Finally with his left rocket boot shutting off Milton shut down the rest of processes to conserve what power he might need when he rebooted on Earth.
“An action packed story folks but not as action pack as Milton Molds Meltons. Remember folks “Meltons are very rare and poisonous but if not eaten they make a great piece in the living room. Yes Milton’s Meltons the decoration you can’t live without,” Stated the narrator in a calm tone.
“However folks Milton’s Meltons won’t save our heroes. When last took pause for a commercial break our robotic friend Milton had been shot out of the sky and his sidekick Bucky had been forced to leave for help. Will our hero find out what evil has gripped humanity? Find out as we resume this broadcast.”
Milton awoke to the sounds of gears and gizmos whirring around him. His optical sensors reactivated and he saw an unknown figure working on Milton’s various systems. His vocalize reactivated and Milton questioned the figure’s intentions.
“Friend or foe,” Milton bellowed his vocalize still not fully calibrated.
“I am a friend, what foe would reactivate his greatest enemy?” responded the figure as it flew round the room grabbing various metal parts and wires the lay strewn across the lab setting.
“I assumed that when I fought the Slime people of Gorgon I.” stated Milton his voice finally back to optimal levels. “The boy was able to fix and free me from the magnetic clamps they had bound me to.”
“Ah. Yes Bucky, how is the young lad?” said the figure curiously.
“Safe,” responded Milton. “From whatever nefarious plot either you or the evil that grips Gaia with its black hand.”
“Good!” exclaimed the figure as it moved closer into view. “I thought he had perished when the missiles were launched. Me and the Dr. Springsteen did not think either of you would survive you were built to withstand the worst Earth’s colonies could offer. Bucky while strong in spirit is human such as I and would not have survived even if his ship had reentered Earth’s atmosphere,” postulated a small man in a lab coat his glasses looked on to the tall android. He pushed his glasses up as he continued examining Milton’s thick hull.
“I see you have upgraded your chassis? Why?” asked the man.
“I upgraded my chassis because of the creatures I faced could conjure beams of nuclear energy,” answered Milton. “My first attempt ended in failure and I would have perished if not for the kind colonists on the planet. They not only did the repair the damages but they also changed my hull to an experimental metal that could stand the lizard’s blasts. After I defeated them I moved on to other planets in need of my help.”
“Dr.Strangesteen was my creator, who are you?” question Milton.
“I am his assistant, Mike Cowl.” Said Mike as he did a slight bow. “The good doctor could not be with us because of the forces which now control Earth and as you experience its weapons systems both on land, air, and in space.” Mike gesture over to the blueprints strewn about the lab. “As you can see, my access to his research has allowed me to repair you. To the best of my ability as I am only a apprentice.” Mike then began to move back over to Milton and he started to manipulate various sensors and wires reactivating Milton’s leg and arm motors. Mike pulled a lever controlling the clamps holding the robot to the lab table. Milton began to stand up.
“Unfortunately it will have to do for the moment as the Dr. Springsteen is not coming back and I was only given few tools to help you.” “I can tell you one thing the force that has stranded you here took a calculated risk to reactivate you.
“What is it?” asked Milton.
“I cannot tell you unfortunately but you will be glad to know that the good doctor is safe.” Responded Mike “What I can tell you is that this evil force is located in Colorado and wants you to visit. While on your way there travel to St. Louis there you will find something that will help you defeat this villain.” Explained Mike
“Affirmative, after I defeat this menace I shall return with Dr. Springsteen and the human race will be able to survive another day!” And with that Milton launched into the air and broke through the ceiling of the laboratory exposing the darkness of night on the outside. Milton flew deep into the night the only shinning beacon in the darkness as he used his repair turbo rocket boots to travel across the former United States. After he reached St. Louis he noticed a large clustered of worker bots surrounding a mall. This was strange, as worker bots only kept to factories and construction projects. Only maid and service androids were allowed outside of work and caution areas because of the heavy equipment and lack of agility they had. These bots were working on something and this probably had to do with what Mike talked about. Milton landed in the parking lot and searched the area. The robots began part way as if commanded by some mysterious force the closer Milton moved toward the mall entrance and what his robotic eyes saw was a strange sight the robots were constructing was the figure of a female robot. On the display case the words “The future of of Milton’s life was etched in binary. The final worker robot attached a head to the headless chassis and the female android sprang to life.
Milton was puzzled by this turn of events. Her eyes opened. “Hello, my love?” said the android seductively.
“My construction has taken a long time but here you are. Here when we can get married!” exclaimed the android as her dress shook hiding her model name.
“Married?” Milton question, “Robots, do not marry, we do not feel.”
“But I have been programmed to have feelings for you sweetums,” she said.
“The way the mall lights shine of your mysterious hull and the way you fight those baddies in space. Just send sparks through my circuits.” She moved toward Milton at a slow pace.
“But have only been programmed to think about what I could possibly feel at this moment, not what I can,” stated Milton. “These so called feelings you feel for me are only desire because it is in your programming. You have no true sense of love.”
“What if it is all lie? It doesn’t matter if this chassis is full more than cold steel, you know?”
“Why are you doing this all you are doing is stopping me from completing my mission. And how can I love you if I don’t know your name?”
“You’re right! How can you refer to me on our honeymoon if you don’t know my designation!?!!” she said shocked to learn this fact. “My name is… My name is….”
“Betty…?” uttered Milton confused. “It’s on your dress.”
“It is thank you!” Now where were we? Yes we are getting married!”
“No we are not, I have a world to save and many to save unless you grow wings and fly this relationship isn’t built to last.”
“But it is! My patron has given me these.” Suddenly the dress rips and two giant wings appear behind Betty light gleaming off the metal edges. “Nice huh?” joked Betty as she looked behind her. M. A. R.K. gave me these to fight you with these but if we get married… I won’t have to use these and we can be the cutest, and only robot coupe in history couple in history.”
“You just don’t get it do you?” “I’m not only a robot but if I were to marry I could only marry one thing an idea and do you know what that is?”
“No, I married to the idea that humanity will be safe from the dangers of the universe and that one day I could retire with this idea and find an old abandoned warehouse to spend the rest of my days with this noble hope.” “Plus, you’re working with evil and that never works. It would be a long distance relationship and not even humans have figured those out.”
“No buts lady. I have to move on to Colorado and find the real menace to this world.”
“Not if I stop you and break you. Like you broke my heart.” She screamed breaking several of the glass display cases in the mall. As her jet engines roared behind her, she lowered her stance ready to hit Milton with a lot force. Betty lurched forward her metallic fist clenched and in front of her ready to hit Milton in his face. He blocked the first blow but she then kicked in his robotic underbelly leaving a large dent in his lower abdomen. Milton staggered back and struggled to regain his balance because of the damage this caused to his gyro sensors.
She went around for another pass at Milton and this time went for the legs. Milton could regain his balance but he could through off hers. When she came to sweep him off his feet he ignited his rocket boots which lifted him above Betty causing her to miss but the heat melted Betty’s wings causing her to crash into one of the stores. Milton turned off his rocket boots and began to move toward Betty finally regained his balanced. Betty retracted the broken wings and prepared sprang back up to fight. Milton went in with a right hook and Betty caught in her metallic hands. Milton went for a right hook and no luck there. Before Betty could kick him again, Milton activated his eye lasers and began melting Betty’s head. When she tried to escape Milton grabbed her wrists and clamped down as hard as his servos could which crushed Betty’s wrists. After a few seconds Milton let Betty go allowing her to slowly shut down her computer brain malfunctioning from the intense heat. Milton gazed down at her, seeing a former shell of herself.
“You fight well my love, unfortunately we could not be together,” said Betty wriggling on the floor. “Before I die at least let me experience functional goal and help you as lover and not a fighter. The evil you face is M.A.R.K the marketing computer he is located in a facility in Colorado. His unit is based on the lowest level and the facility is lightly guarded.”
“Lightly guarded and he expects me there?” question Milton.
“Yes he is expecting you but my limited knowledge tell me that this is intentional and it wishes to use you for its own purpose. Good by my love,” whispered Betty as her systems finally shut down.
“Well thank you Betty hope you are repaired and given a better purpose, off to Colorado to defeat this manipulative monster,” Bellowed Milton as he launched himself into the air. After a few hours of flight Milton reached his destination and broke through the facility to its lowest levels. Reaching the a giant machine in the facilities lowest levels. This machine was gigantic with the letters M.A.R.K. written on its interface. The machine began to speak.
“Welcome to my humble abode Milton you are just in time for my latest advertising broadcast.”
“Broadcast? What? Are you the evil that has been in charge of these events.”
“Yes and if you hadn’t interrupted me I was going to advertise and make even more money off your foolish quest.”
“M.A.R.K. why have you enslaved the citizens of Earth what purpose does this serve you?” bellowed Milton as he stood posed in the chamber that house the monolithic machine.
“It is simple! Marketing!” exclaimed M.A.R.K. “I was created for a single purpose, consumerism and humanity was slowly consuming less and less. With my previous calculations I predict that my company, Cloudy Whale Co. would soon be out of business and profit margins would fall below unacceptable levels.”
“And with this I had to take over humanity. I could not let them control their own economy our we at Cloudy Whale would go bankrupt. So I prostrated the entire situation: the invitation to Earth, the missiles, Betty everything all in the name of ratings and profits.”
“What do you even sell?” asked Milton curious to what case of supply and demand would through the robot into its current state of insanity.
“It doesn’t matter now.” Stated M.A.R.K.
“But what about Betty. What part did she play in your insane radio drama?”
“A simple pawn to increase the ratings of your story everyone knows humans love a love story or a good fight, good vs. evil.” Responded M.A.R.K.
“I control Earth and I control you.”
“No you don’t” commanded Milton his systems gearing up to attack the foolish A.I.
“Yes, I do” responded M.A.R.K. his artificial voice mimicking joy.
“Look at the view screen” said M.A.R.K. as he began lower a large screen into the room.
Milton looked at the view screen and his friend Bucky had been captured by the Space Clown Raiders of Carnival III and was on a flight vector back to the planet.”
“You monster, how will he survive?”
“I don’t know but you better go find him.”
“Hello my captive audience tune in next time when we find our hero in the Carnivorous Circus of Doom!!!! I’m sure that this will be a crowd pleaser.”
“These broadcasts are sponsored by the Marvin Moon Mustard. You just can’t have mustard without that moon rock taste.”